Name: Juhan Razfino
INTRODUCTION
Being a leader is not an easy task as it
requires skills, patience and experiences. If a person who is not suited to be
a leader, a conflict may arise. However, under a good leadership conflicts may
still happen and this is where the skills and experiences of a leaders are put
into a test. This paper aims to provide the readers on the definition of
conflict, the levels of conflict, steps in managing conflicts, paradigms of
human interactions and styles in managing conflict.
2. WHAT
IS A CONFLICT?
There are many definitions of conflict.
According to Merriam-Webster definition, conflict is a mental struggle
resulting from incompatible or opposing needs, drives, wishes, or
external or internal demands (“Conflict | Definition of Conflict by
Merriam-Webster,” n.d.).
another definition stated that conflict is a disagreement between two parties
and the source of conflict could be from difference of opinion (Tucker, n.d.-b).
It should be noted that mental struggles are where the conflict started and
depending on the situations and the people involved in the conflict, the
parties that are involved in the conflict usually under very strong emotions.
If a leader poorly handled the situation, the conflict may become more intense and can impact everyone
around it directly or indirectly. (Tucker, n.d.-b).
3. LEVELS
OF CONFLICT
When a leader is unable to handle
conflict, the conflict can cripple the unity of a team. It is important for a
leader to identify a conflict that might happen and take precaution so the
conflict will not become more complicated.
Conflict can occur on several levels:
·
Individual
·
Group
·
Organization
Identifying the nature of the conflict and
devising appropriate strategies on how to solve a conflict is a compulsory
skill for a leader.
1. STEPS TO MANAGE CONFLICT
1.1.
Five Steps in Managing Conflict
In the book “Leading in the heat of
conflict”, Michael Maccoby and Tim Scudder write about five steps to manage
conflict (Maccoby & Scudder, 2011):
·
Anticipate
The first step is
to anticipate the conflict before it happens. Conflict is an unavoidable
situation in real life. To anticipate the conflict from happening in the first
place, a leader must prepare strategies, take consideration of the individual
that a leader would be dealing with and the current relationship between them.
·
Prevent
To prevent the
conflict from happening in the first place is the best remedy, but in real life
conflict is an unavoidable situation. However, to prevent the conflict from
becoming unhealthy conflict is possible. The best way to do it is to
acknowledge the conflict from the moment it appears.
·
Identify
A leader should
identify the conflict instead of ignoring the conflict. After identifying the
conflict, the leader should go to each party involved in the conflict and learn
their interest.
·
Manage
In managing a conflict,
the leader should first learn the reasons and emotions among parties that are
involved in the conflict.
Maccoby and Scudder emphasize that conflict is emotional. Indeed, parties that
are involved believed that the conflict is based on logical reasoning and
principles. However, the other factor which is the emotion is a crucial part in
a conflict and should be acknowledge immediately.
·
Resolve
Resolving a conflict is not an easy task as it takes time and requires
significant skills. Also, both parties should agree to the resolution of the
conflict. If both parties are not satisfied with the resolution, it is positive
that the conflict would arise again in the future.
1.2. Fair Fighting: Ground Rules
There are 10 rules that a leader should obey in managing conflict (The University of
Texas at Austin Counseling and Mental Health Center, n.d.):
1.
Remain calm.
When encountered a conflict, one should remain calm and
try not to overreact.
2.
Express
feelings in words, not actions.
telling the truth directly is a powerful form of communication.
3.
Be
specific about what is bothering you.
Do not be vague in stating your complaint.
4.
Deal
with only one issue at a time.
One should focus on one problem before moving on to another problem
5.
No
“hitting below the belt”.
Do not attack the sensitive area of someone as it can cause an atmosphere
of distrust, anger, and vulnerability.
6.
Avoid
accusations.
Accusing someone will only make he or she becoming more defensive, instead,
talk about how someone's actions made you feel.
7.
Do
not generalize.
Avoid the use of “never” or “always” words. generalizations
are usually inaccurate and will make the conflict become more worse than
before.
8.
Avoid
“make believe”.
Do not Exaggerate or create an imaginary
complaint as it can prevent the real issue from surfacing. Emphasize on facts
and be honest.
9.
Do
not stockpile.
Do not hide your grievance towards someone for a long time as it can be
counterproductive. Try to deal with the problems as they arise.
10.
Avoid
clamming up.
Two-way communication cause positive results. When someone become silent
and stop replying to any conversation, frustration
and anger can occur. However, if you feel yourself getting overwhelmed or
shutting down, you may need to take a break from the discussion. Just let your
partner know you will return to the conversation as soon as you are able and
then do not forget to follow-up.
2. PARADIGMS
OF HUMAN INTERACTIONS
Stephen R. Covey listed six paradigms of
human interaction in his book titled “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective
People” and they are: win/win, win/lose, lose/win, lose/lose, win, win/win
or no deal (Covey, 1989).
The explanation of each paradigms will be provided below:
1. Win/win
This is a mindset
that seeks to ensure the interest of all parties are considered. Covey describe
this as the “third alternative” because as he stated in the book that this
paradigm is “not your way or my way; it's a better way, a higher way” (Covey, 1989).
2. Win/lose
This means that
one party interest dominates the other party’s interest. Usually, the user of
this paradigm is a subscriber to the "scarcity mentality" and believe
on the idea of "you must lose so that I can win". This type of
interaction usually destroys teamwork.
3. Lose/win
The person that
uses this paradigm means that he or she prefer to avoid conflict by cooperating
with other person or group to the degree that he or she is lose.
4. Lose/lose
This paradigm
means that no resolution is met at the end of the conflict as both parties
lose. This paradigm does not contribute to positive team dynamics and is very
unhealthy for all parties involved.
5. Win
6. Win/Win
or No Deal
This
paradigm is almost the same as win/win paradigm. It requires a high character
ethic, investment of time and lots of two-way communication.
In
the event an agreement suitable to all parties cannot
be reached, the only Win/Win is "No Deal." Even
though no deal sometimes is the best solution, this situation can create an
opening for possible win/win in the future.
3. CONFLICT
MANAGEMENT STYLE
Gwendolyn J. Tucker related Covey’s six
paradigm of human interactions to her understanding of conflict management
styles. She stated that there are five types of conflict management styles
which are forcing, withdrawing, smoothing, compromising, and problem solving (Tucker, n.d.-a).
3.1.
Forcing
The user of this
style is a highly assertive person that only cares on his or her own interest.
This can destroy a good working relationship. If looking at Covey’s six
paradigms of human interaction, this style falls under win/lose paradigm.
3.2.Smoothing
This is the
opposite of the forcing style. The user of this style is so cooperative and
will give away everything to solve the conflict. The user of this style usually
compromises to the point that they lose their "voice" and will not
assert themselves (Tucker, n.d.-a). this
style falls under “lose/win” paradigm.
3.3.Withdrawing
This is a type of
person that avoid conflicts. They do not assert their interest nor do they
listen to the interest of another person. This falls under lose/lose
3.4.
Compromising
This combines
assertiveness and cooperativeness. The person wants to win but not interested
on satisfying another person’s interest. It is a better choice from the three
styles mentioned above as it takes consideration the interests of both parties,
but produces inferior results when compared to the next style:
Problem Solving.
3.5. Problem Solving
This style takes
time but worth the efforts. The user of this style is concerned with the
interests of both parties. This style requires This
style requires that a person is concerned about their interests and
the interests of the other person. As Covey states, "Win/Win is
a belief in the Third Alternative. It's not your way or my way, it's a
better way, a higher way." Indeed, problem solving is "a better
way, a higher way" when approaching conflict between two parties
who must work together to achieve maximum success (Tucker, n.d.-a)
4. CONCLUSION
Being a leader is not an easy task and
sometimes if we were assigned as a leader of a group, we try hard to produce a
good decision for the team than we should to satisfy other people. However, in
reality, not everyone is pleased with our decision and when that happened, a
conflict will occur. To solve the conflict, a leader must have the significant
amount of skill and knowledge in handling the conflict so the conflict will not
become a more dire conflict. Hopefully this paper will provide enough
information in dealing with conflict in any type of situation.
5. REFERENCES
Conflict | Definition of Conflict by Merriam-Webster.
(n.d.). Retrieved July 22, 2019, from
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/conflict
Covey, S. R. (1989). The 7 Habits of Highly Effective
People.
Maccoby, B. M., & Scudder, T. (2011). Leading in the heat
of Conflict. T +D, 65(12), 46–51.
The University of Texas at Austin Counseling and Mental
Health Center. (n.d.). Fighting Fair to Resolve Conflict. Retrieved July 22,
2019, from https://cmhc.utexas.edu/fightingfair.html#6
Tucker, G. J. (n.d.-a). Conflict Management Styles. Retrieved
July 30, 2019, from
http://www.leaderwholeads.com/conflict-management-styles.html
Tucker, G. J. (n.d.-b). Leadership and Conflict. Retrieved
July 22, 2019, from http://www.leaderwholeads.com/leadership-and-conflict.html
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